Now and Always
by Scarlet-Passion
Summary: After Sunnydale is destroyed, Buffy must recover from the destruction of her home. She finds comfort every night in the one person she will always trust, now and always.
1. Loss

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

They all asked me where we were going to go from here. I didn't have an answer. I had no idea what I was going to do. Truthfully, I was speechless. As the pit that was Sunnydale stretched out in front of me, a thousand memories flashed through my mind. I smiled at every single one. Each memory was of the last seven years. The ones I shared with my friends, my sister, my lovers, my mother, and myself were the happiest and the most painful. Yet…

I felt a strange emotion that I couldn't comprehend. It was shocking and strangely uncomforting. Down, in the pit, I had lost my mother, Spike, Tara, and many other people that I had known and loved. However, most of them either came back to life or were the undead, or some other supernatural condition that would probably put me in a psyche ward if I mentioned it to anyone who was unaware of this world's full potential.

I looked to my friends. I looked to Xander, trying to hide his grief for Anya in his jokes. Willow and Kennedy had their arms wrapped around each other, looking out into the sky. Giles and Faith were talking about how to get everyone to safety. My eyes rested on Dawn, who was watching me. Her face had a blank expression, but there was as much grief in her eyes as mine. I walked over to her and put my arms around her. She didn't flinch when I touched her. She and I looked out into the day sky, letting the wind blow through our hair, as our one and only home lay in the ground, covered in rubble and dist.


	2. Edges

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Buffy POV:

Dawn, Willow, and Xander sat around the fire. The gleam of the fire shone brightly in their eyes, as they stared blankly into the flames. We were still in the middle of the road, for we still hadn't figured out where to go. Faith and Giles were training the slayers. Their form was so much better, thanks to my trusty fighting axe. I alone was sitting on the edge of the pit.

I couldn't get over the fact that it was all gone. My hair flowed lightly behind me, keeping out of my eyes. My eyes traveled through the cracks of the remnants of Sunnydale, looking deep into the places of my home. I felt tears touch my eyes, and I swiftly wiped them away.

This was ridiculous. I had to go now. But where would I go? Who could I talk to? I silently lifted myself off of the ground, walking over to the fire. Dawn and Willow looked up at me.

"I'm going to take a walk," I told them.

"Do you want us to come?" Willow asked, knowing I would say no.

"No thanks, I'll be fine," I replied.

Dawn and Willow both smiled. Willow turned back to the fire, but Dawn watched as I walked off into the desert. I could almost feel her worry, but she knew I had to be alone.

I walked aimlessly deeper into the barrenness of the land. But I knew where I was going, for the person I wanted to talk to I could feel wasn't far.

Angel's POV:

She had defeated the first. That impressed me. I had broken my promise to build the second front.

When I left, making the promise to make it, I had actually followed her home. I hid in the shadows. When I saw her lying with Spike, I felt the same jealousy I had felt six years earlier. Of course, it had been my idea to leave her in the first place, but still.

Now, as I looked into the barren pit where my life had started over, ended, and began again, I wondered how she was handling herself. This place was her home and she must be grieving in some way or other. I stood at the other end of the pit, watching the fire burn brightly in the darkness. She sat at the end across from me. Her eyes studied the remains deeply. I just knew she was.

I watched her, knowing it would be incredibly hard to leave her now that she was sure I was around. Her head moved up to face me, but she didn't seem to notice me. She slowly raised herself up and walked over to the fire. She then walked off into the desert, constantly. My dead heart swelled with nervousness and hope.

I knew she was coming to see me.


	3. Surprise

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Buffy POV:

I climbed over the rocks and pebbles. My tan heels didn't help much. I could feel painful blisters and calluses developing underneath my foot. But I dealt with it.

I never really noticed how large the pit actually was. I never realized how large Sunnydale actually was. I laughed at my own ignorance. I was still on my walk and I'm sure it had been over an hour. My hands were in my jean pockets and I looked at the ground, making sure I didn't trip over any rocks.

My mind drifted off into oblivion as I walked, following the gentle, subtle curves of the pit. I flashed back to six years ago, the year the peak of my life revealed itself, the moment I admitted my true feelings for _him_.

Shivers ran down my side as I felt the distance between me and him enclose itself. I walked on faster, not even breaking a sweat. As I sped up, I swear I felt his emotions and physical movement as well.

I felt a tingle again, but this one was wrong. What could possibly be wrong? What could-I felt something hit my back.

"Ooph," I grunted painfully. I flipped over to see the face of a vampire, but not Angel's.

"Oh, great," I muttered out loud, "seems some of Sunnydale's living dead still lives-well-walks."

"You got that right, slayer," he said. The voice behind the face was familiar, as if I had heard it somewhere distant…

Angel POV:

I saw Buffy walk across the terrain. She seemed to be wincing in pain every few seconds. It must have been those heals she was wearing. I shook my head disapprovingly. She smiled involuntarily, feeling the same prickle I felt whenever she was near.

Out of eagerness, I began to walk towards her. She sped up her walk the moment I started walking. Then she stopped, but she didn't seem to notice. The next thing I knew, I watched her get kicked by a vampire.

She flipped over, but didn't lift herself, for she seemed to be struck dumb.

Buffy POV:

"Jonathan?" I asked, practically stunned. He stared down at me, making me feel like I was some jewel that everyone absolutely had to have.

"That's right slayer, it's me!" he smiled triumphantly. He then leaped out suddenly, but I removed myself from his path.

He threw a punch at me, but I blocked it and punched him instead. He fell to the ground, but quickly gathered himself and got up again.

Wow. For a short, un-athletic nerd, he was full of stamina. He did a sweep kick towards my legs. I flipped in the air, my legs spinning as I went to avoid the kick.

Out of anger, I kicked him in the groin so he collapsed to his knees. Before he could even lay his head down, I used the same move I had used on Spike a thousand times. Having heels on was just an extra bonus.

I kicked him in the head so that he fell back on to the ground. I then took my stake out and held it half an inch from his heart.

"I give up, I give up," he surrendered. I looked at him for a second.

"Try and hit me again, and this stake will be the least of your problems," I threatened. He gulped nervously, but nodded. I lifted myself off of him so he could get up. He started a punch towards me.

"Oh, no you don't" I held his knuckle and bent it back a little. He screamed in pain.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry" he muttered through wincing and sobbing. What a wimp.

Angel's POV:

I watched her dodge out of the way of his pounce. Like a vicious animal, she easily disarmed him. He fell to the ground in pain. I smiled at every move she made. What made me frown was when she didn't kill him.

He threw a punch at her, but she caught it and bent his hand back. He screamed in pain and started to sob. He was an embarrassment to vampires everywhere, including me, you know, the soulful guy.

I watched as the others turned their heads to the sound of the scream. Dawn, Willow, Xander, and Giles all came running. Faith, Principal Wood, and what's-his-face stayed behind to watch the other slayers.

If I would be any use, I supposed I should go to. I went to help Buffy with the low life.

Buffy POV:

Willow and Dawn, followed by Giles and Xander all were sprinting to where I was. Dawn and Willow, also in heals, stumbled, only to be saved by the two in the back.

"Buffy! What happened?" Willow asked through her mind.

"Oh nothing terribly exciting," I replied.

"Hold up for us," she said.

I tied Jonathan in the tightest knot I could manage. I felt my friends close in on the space between them and me. I also felt something else, but ignored it for now. Jonathan, now bound and gagged, looked to me, scared.

"Now, you listen to me. My friends are coming to get you. They aren't going to touch you," I said. He "discreetly" sighed in relief.

"Instead, Willow will make you float," I interjected. He tensed up. That's better.

"And I suggest you don't remind her of what you involved yourself with," I finished.

"Buffy!" Dawn shouted.

"That would be them," I said to him.

I waved to them as they approached. They stopped in front of me, all of them panting.

"Buffy, what…was that…scream?" Xander asked, while panting. I removed myself to give them a clear view of Jonathan.

"Buffy, a vampire? Why didn't you just…kill it?" Giles asked her, disapprovingly.

"Don't you know who it is?" I asked. All four of them shook their heads.

I sighed and said, "It's Jonathan." Willow and Dawn both stared.

"Yeah, that was my reaction too. The weird thing is, he knows how to fight," I continued. Giles also stared, shocked. But Xander laughed at the irony.

"Can you guys take him back there?" I asked.

"Sure, Buffy," Willow said, she came up to me and whispered, "go see him." I smiled at her. Willow was about to touch Jonathan when I caught her arm.

"Oh and Willow, make him float," I said. She looked up at me and nodded, a mischievous smile spreading across her face.

Willow lifted him off the ground, bringing him back to the camp. Dawn, Xander, and Giles followed. Giles and Xander were about to ask me if I was coming, but Dawn told them to not bother me. She knew why I was taking a walk in the first place.

Angel's POV:

I watched them take the vampire back to the camp. I expected Buffy to go too, but she just went the opposite directions. We were now in human seeing distance of each other.

She saw me and not wanting to spoil the moment, walked slower. I walked slower as well, watching my blond goddess approach me. Excitement built up inside me. But the need and love for her was stronger in me then I could ever remember.


	4. Reunion

This all belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

This all belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Angel POV:

A broad smile spread across her face as I stood frozen in place. Her long, blond hair flowed lightly behind her. Her jeans and jacket were covered with dust. Her face was incredibly dirty. Her hands looked rougher than ever, but yet….

She looked more radiant than ever. She had a feel of confidence in her steps, even though there was a light hint of grief. She was about five feet from me now. I held my hand for hers, which she took willingly. Her pink hand held mine tight.

I felt hope swell in my chest once again. It was exhilarating, exciting.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hi" she replied, her voice music to my ears.

She looked to me, her eyes showing she was honestly glad that was there. I quietly smiled to myself, happiness _almost_ taking me over.

"What? Do you want me to kiss you again?" she asked sarcastically.

"Maybe, but I never said that," I replied.

"Then why are you smiling?" she asked, the curiosity clear in her voice.

"No…reason," I replied, simply.

She shook her head mockingly, and smiled again. Her stunning green eyes looked to my dark ones, glowing with genuine happiness. I knew how she felt right now, but I couldn't feel the same way.

It was for everyone's sake, including hers. That didn't mean I couldn't wish to be happy. So I stuck with overwhelmed.

Buffy POV:

Angel had been quiet for a while, a small smile plastered across his angelic face. His eyes wandered through the flat, barren desert. He never let go of my hand.

He squeezed it every now and again, making sure he wasn't just dreaming what seemed to be a very nice dream, for him, I mean. The thought made my face glow bright red. The embarrassment just made me feel warmer.

"So, you defeated the First," he said, surprise clear in his voice. I don't know why, but I took as an insult.

"Yes, and I don't have any regrets," I said, "The ubervamp army was sad." The army that the First had set up would've been scary, if I didn't have a pack full of slayers fighting by my side. Plus a vampire, a witch, two experienced fighters, my kick-butt little sis, and an ex-demon. Oh, and Andrew.

"I'm not saying you have any," he said, seeing my emotions in my eyes. The strange thing was, he wouldn't stop looking at me. He would brush his fingers lightly against my cheek, as if we hadn't seen each other two day earlier…at least I thought it was two days. I couldn't have been sure.

He asked me about what tactics I used, and I explained to him my plan. He nodded once in a while, making a surprised sound, hiding his pride. His pride in having a woman that could handle herself, but yet still cried like a two-year-old sometimes. He squeezed my hand tighter.

Angel POV:

We walked and talked, which was all I could've possibly asked for. Secretly, in my head, I tried to make sense of my decision to leave her which was made, what, five years ago? I remember how I had first left her and it was almost impossible to live without her.

Then she came to my apartment to yell at me, only for it to turn into the most amazing day of my life…

I pushed the memory away, guilt still strong in me from making her forget. When I had left her, I wanted to give her a normal life. Turned out, that the plan I had for her was a total bust.

She had dated a commando and another vamp. She had died _again_ and had a sister who's practically three years old, who looks seventeen years old. Not only that, but she had an army of slayers, an I'll-drop-in-only-under-desperate-circumstances watcher, and two best friends with almost uncontrollable power and one eye. Like I said-a total bust.

I gritted my teeth at my own stupid mistake. Buffy seemed to notice, but didn't ask me what was wrong. She just came closer to me, so I could put my arm around her shoulders and she laid her head on my shoulder.

The feel of her cheek touching my shoulder was empowering. It made me feel…whole. Again.

We had walked to my end of the pit. She stopped there and looked to me.

"Can we sit for a while?" she asked me. I simply nodded. She gave me a short smile. We then walked over to the edge and sat side by side. She looked out over the rubble and dust. I watched her and followed her eyes. The night sky was filled with dancing lights and the brilliant moon.

The moon shone brightly over her, and I prepared to be stunned by her beauty in the moonlight.

I was stunned. But not in the way I wanted. She was beautiful, but tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. Her eyes brows were arched. They looked angry. He lips were figuratively sewed together. Her jaw was set.

I was helpless. I didn't know what to do. She had grown strong since I had last seen only two years earlier. But she still seemed to hold some of her eighteen-year-old innocence. I heard a sob rise slowly up her throat and quietly exit her mouth.

Willow POV:

Xander, Dawn and I sat at the edge, opposite Buffy and Angel. Andrew was still gawking at the fact the Jonathan was "alive". Giles and Faith were discussing tactic. The rest of the slayers were sleeping, except for, of course, Kennedy.

She watched me, not letting her eye lids droop even for second. I looked over what was left of my home. Dawn had a blank look, her eyes looking at the exact spot where her mother's grave would've been.

Xander looked to where Sunnydale high was once. Tears danced on the left side of his face. He was mourning her. Anya. I just stared off into the darkness. I felt a feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the kind you get when your favorite show ended. Imagine that, but lasting for hours, days. It hurt almost too much.

I would never see my chemistry teacher again. I could never visit my mother's house. I could never hang out in Buffy's kitchen or do research in the Magic Box again. The thought, for some reason, sickened me. My home was gone. But I worried more about Buffy.

I looked across the pit, to see her looking out into the distance. She hadn't said much, or even looked away from the pit. Angel rubbed his fingers against her cheek bone, wiping something away.

The same things that danced on Xander's cheek. The same thing that poured out of Dawn's eyes. The same thing that stung my own eyes, at that moment.


	5. Friends

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Angel POV:

I slept in the bus. It was day light outside. The previous night had…not been what I was expecting. Buffy had just stared at where her house had been. Tears had rolled down her cheek all the while. Every time a tear left her eye, it broke my heart further and further.

She tried to wipe away her tears, trying to not cause me pain. But they never stopped.

I had to admit, Sunnydale had its ups and downs.

Downs meaning it was a huge breeding ground for all sorts of evil. Ups meaning, that it all had some sentimental value for everyone, good and bad. For me, it gave me the reason to go on living. She had held my hand last night.

I smiled at the feel of her touch. I breathed in the desert air deeply. It covered up the blood of all the humans in the area. I remembered Buffy bringing me back to her camp just before dawn.

Dawn and Willow both hugged me when I came. Giles nodded to me, still holding a grudge against me for killing Jenny. Xander, who I expected to also nod to me, shook my hand instead. That surprised me. He must've gotten over his grudge against for…whatever reason he had a grudge against me.

Faith had punched my shoulder lightly. I smiled at her friendliness. Some guy came up to me and ogled me, staring at me like I was a super model. When I asked Buffy why he did that, she…explained it to me.

Principle Wood…well, he just ignored me. He wasn't very fond of me, or what I was. It didn't bother me though. Buffy had taken me into the bus. She placed a tarp over, even though I had no idea where she had gotten it.

They must have kept it in the bus for Spike. When I heard that my old friend…enemy…whatever was dead, I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know how to react. All I knew was that, I wasn't in mourning. Buffy, on the other hand was depressed by that as well.

I didn't tell her that I couldn't care less about Spike. In a way, I always liked Spike on some level. That's all I had to say about him, that I wanted to say. It was now day, probably ten in the morning. I was sleeping in the back seat, since it was the closest thing they had to a bed.

I stared at the ceiling of the bus, my mind wandering. I was brought out of it by the door of the bus opening and the person (I would've least expected) to step in.

Buffy POV:

It was my turn to train the slayers. They had strong technique. Each of us had shifts teaching them. I had the beautiful responsibility of teaching them power. They had softer punches then I ever had. I could take them down all easily, except for Kennedy.

She had almost as much power as I did. She was my best. I would use her as a model for the others. Once in a while, I would grab one of them to hit a rock. Yes, a rock. I would hold it in front of the, so they could punch it. I would see how far they would be able to punch it across the pit. Vi aced that test. She smiled when it landed about five miles past the opposite edge. Faith watched me, making me feel as if I was being tested on testing.

Faith eventually took over to test them on their technique. That seemed to be less sharp than their power. Jealousy stung me.

I walked over to where Willow was sitting. She was crunched up into a ball. She looked into Sunnydale, a pained look surrounding her face. I approached her, kneeling down. I put my hand on her shoulder. She stayed as still as ice.

She slowly breathed in and out, probably trying to stop her sobs. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stared at one particular spot. I looked to where her gaze looked, and I wondered what she missed.

_Tara_, she thought. I snapped my head up to her. She was still looking out towards where Tara's grave would be. I continued to look at my best friend. Until now, I had never noticed how beautiful she actually was.

Her red hair blew lightly in the wind. It perfectly framed her face which was turning darker because of the sun. Her hands, though covered with dust, were perfectly flexible and smooth. They didn't have a crack on them.

A sob escaped her throat. She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. I laid my hand on her shoulders and laid her head on my lap. She laid there, sobbing. It hurt me, seeing her like that.

She only cried this hard in front of me when Oz had cheated on her. That was four years ago. Another memory to add to my reasons of missing Sunnydale, another to cry into my lover's arms, and another reason to stare off into oblivion.

I didn't tear up again, just stared, as the daunting truth started to settle in.

Angel POV:

Xander closed the door behind him. The sun went away as he closed it. He went to the second seat in the row of seats and slumped into it. I watched him as he stared blankly out of the tarp-covered window. I was trying to think about why he was there.

I couldn't come to any conclusion. It frustrated me. Why would he come in here, if not to see me? I decided to ask him.

"So…having fun staring at the tarp?" I asked him, trying to act uninterested. He jumped. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was me.

"Oh…Angel, I didn't see you," he said.

"Um, Xander, didn't you know I was here?" I asked, all acting gone. Xander had an ashamed look in his face.

"Um, no, Sorry Angel. I didn't know you were sleeping," he said gingerly.

Xander's voice broke as I saw a tear roll down his face. I raised my eyebrow in curiosity. He noticed that I had noticed. Awkward.

"Um, Xander?" I said.

"Angel, I-I need…to talk…to you about…something. If you could just give me a second?" his voice broke while searching for words.

"Of course, Xander. Whatever you need," I said. I turned into my side so I faced the seat. Xander needed to talk to me. About what? I couldn't figure it out.

Xander POV:

He would know what to do. Anya ran through my head for whatever I stared at reminded me of her. The bright blue sky, the dusty, barren desert, heck even Angel reminded me of her. He was, after all, a demon gone good.

That's why I needed to talk to him. He knew how to handle something like this. Buffy had died twice on him. I would talk to Buffy about this, but she wasn't in the same position. She had killed Angel. She had not only grief, but also guilt.

I breathed in and out, stopping my tears. I closed my eyes escaping into one more fantasy in which Anya had survived. Out of sheer will, I lifted myself up and walked over to the seat next to Angel.


	6. Advice

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Angel POV:

Xander came to the seat nearest to me. He sat down slowly, feeling as…hesitant as I was. He smiled slightly, unsure of how to start.

"So…um…Angel, you've heard about…Anya…right?" he asked me. I simply nodded.

"Well…you know we were…together?" he asked.

"Um, vaguely," I replied. Curiosity flowed through me.

"And you know how it feels for someone you…love…to…" he couldn't finish his sentence. But I knew what he wanted to know.

"How did you handle it?" he asked. I sighed and lifted myself up so I was face to face with him. He eyes were moistening.

"Xander, the first time Buffy died," I shivered at the memory, "I couldn't _handle_ it. When I saw her in the water, I didn't know what I was going to do."

He nodded, encouraging me to continue.

Buffy POV:

Willow continuously sobbed into my jacket, her pain etching gashes into my heart. But I didn't let her know that. Every now and then she would blubber out different names, Tara, her mother, her father, Oz (which surprised me). She played with her hair, not saying anything.

She eventually settled into silent tears, her teeth barred. We both looked out to the day sky, trying to deny the truth. That was why I jumped when she said my name.

"Buffy?" she said, hesitation clear in her voice.

"Buffy…I need to ask you something," she paused, waiting for me to answer.

"Go ahead, Wil" I encouraged her. She breathed deeply, trying to calm her nerves.

"You know…I feel guilty about Tara," she said. I nodded, knowing her feelings were obtuse.

"I need to know…how you could keep yourself after killing…Angel," she finished holding her breath. I looked to her, hiding the surprise I felt. It was an odd question. I thought she knew she wasn't responsible to Tara.

"Wil…it wasn't as easy as I made it out to be. I never actually got over Angel. When he died…I had to run. The world meant little to me. All I could see was his face right before he got….sucked into the portal," I replied. I breathed, catching air and trying not to break down with guilt.

She kept her eyes on me, tentative.

"I had to mow it over. It was just so…hard," I told her, "and you _cannot_ do the same thing as me." She nodded eager for me to continue.

Angel POV:

"It's okay Angel…I won't attack you now. I promise!" Xander smiled.

"Thanks," I replied. My mind flashed back to when she stabbed me just before I got sucked down the portal. The memories flew back in and I couldn't believe all the evil I had done. I had killed Buffy's classmate…a toddler…Jenny.

The guilt mixed with the white hot pain of the sword was overwhelming.

"The second time Buffy…passed, I was a little stronger," I replied, "when Willow told me what had happened, I didn't break down like before."

"I ran to her grave, with the little patience I had. Honestly, Xander your handling better than I ever did," I complemented him. He smiled a solemn smile my way.

"Oh, God! For a bunch of tough guys, you're saps," a voice said. Xander and I both jumped and looked to the ceiling.

Jonathan was bound to the roof of the bus, face down. I had to smirk at his position. He didn't look comfortable at all. Xander on the other hand looked full of rage.

"Listen, dumb ass, this isn't your conversation. Go back to sleep before I pull a cross bow on you," he threatened.

Jonathan didn't give up a fight. He scrunched his eyes in fear. Wow.

Xander furrowed his brow in disgust. He was also disappointed is Jonathan. He sat back in his original seat.

"Continue, Angel" he told me. I nodded, thinking of what to say.

"Xander, all I can say is that keep her in your memory. Yes, slowly let her go, but never forget her. If you do…she'll just cause you more pain. She'll be bottled up until you do remember her," I told him, "I could never let Buffy go because I knew it would kill me if I did."

He seemed to understand what I was saying.

"Wow, Angel. I never though you could be that wise," he told me. I rolled my eyes at his inobservance.

"You're terrible, Xander" I joked. He smiled.

"Saps," I heard Jonathan mumble. I turned my head to him.

"Crossbow," I muttered as I pointed to Xander. Jonathan shivered in fear.

Buffy POV:

"Willow…all I can say is that, she was yours. It wasn't your fault that she died. You never killed her. I know you could've defended her," Willow stopped a sob, "but the reason she got a bullet lodged into her body was because Warren was insane."

"He was the one who should be punished, not you," I told her. For one second, she transferred back to Dark Willow. I put my hand on her face to calm her. Her hair slowly transfigured back to red.

I bent down to whisper in her ear, "I don't mean to be harsh. Just remind yourself that her death was _never_ your fault." Her tears were silent, as I felt her nod.

"Thanks, Buffy" she muttered, meant for me.

"No problem," I muttered, trying to hide my own grief.

Angel POV:

Xander explained to me how Anya died. It sickened me. The worst part was, she didn't have any protection.

Her only help was a nerd who was in love with the "vampire" held to the ceiling. I nodded when ever he needed reassurance. For once, I didn't mind Xander. He was actually a decent guy.

Jonathan eventually fell asleep with boredom. He didn't even seem the least bit interested. Somehow, we got off the subject of Anya.

"Weird, isn't it" Xander said. I shot him a confused look.

"What?" I said.

"Sunnydale. It's gone. Sort of…weird," he whispered to me.

I nodded in reply. It was strange for this…pit to be the place where I had started my redemption. It was…odd.


	7. Remember

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Buffy POV:

Angel held my head tightly in between his cold palms. I leaned in and kissed him vigorously. His lips had absolute enthusiasm. My arms encircled his neck and my hands met. I moved to his forehead, tracing his brow.

His lips moved to my jaw and he found my throat, tracing my neck bone with his lips. I found his hair and smelled the scent of rain still fresh in it. I kissed it softly.

He traced my collarbone, leaving little moisture. My lungs screamed at me, not finding any air. I broke free, gasping. I was thankful for once that Angel was a vampire. He didn't stop kissing me.

He moved down my arm until he lifted my palm. He began kissing it with so much intensity. My heart skipped a beat at his touch and I found the back of his neck the most appeasing to me. I kissed it with more force than I used in any other part of my life.

He pressed his face into my hair. I came to look at his throat which I kissed softly. He held me tighter to him. He kissed my hair, as I hunted along his collarbone, tracing his jaw. My tears that I had had earlier now vanished in the atmosphere of the moment.

We parted for only seconds as I helped him strip off his shirt. He held me tighter to him before the shirt fell to the floor. Our lips met with such intensity, it could've set the room on fire.

I felt his chest lower until I felt something soft beneath his back. He whispered in my ear, "Thank you." I smiled. We rolled so my back could feel the softness of his bed. He continued to kiss my throat…

My eyes snapped open. My body was covered in sweat. I somehow managed to end up on my back, but I had gone to sleep on my stomach. The stars overhead calmed me a little as I breathed deeply in and out.

For a minute I forgot what I had dreamt. Then, it all flowed back in. The kissing, the words, the heat. It all came back. I don't why, but moisture met my eyes.

It wasn't really a dream, but a really detailed instant replay of that night all those years ago. I had all the same emotions, felt all the same surfaces. But the memory aroused a new emotion…disappointment. I knew I could never feel that way with Angel again.

I also knew that the place where I had felt that way was now a giant ditch—that didn't help much either.

His touch still lingered on me. I still felt the tingling in my palm.

Angel POV:

I watched Buffy toss and turn. The windows in the bus didn't help much, but it was the best view I could get. Her dream seemed to be very violent, but a smile was on her face.

She must be fighting some demon and winning. She loved fighting. She was always happiest in those moments. I noticed her body language wasn't one of fighting. I couldn't really tell what she was dreaming about, but it must be good because it made her particularly happy.

Her eyes snapped open and the thrill on her face slowly faded. What replaced it looked something like…disappointment. The dream obviously was very good. Good enough to disappoint her.

Her chest rose slowly as she stared at the stars. I barely noticed the tears roll down her cheeks, because I was watching her right hand twitch. Her face turned to a scowl.

Buffy POV:

My tears poured down slowly as I felt some of my impatience boil over. How long could it possibly take him to become human? He has been doing the good fight for a freakin seven years and his heart was still dead.

I wanted him so much. But his curse had a loophole and we had to be separated. But, underneath, I knew we both wanted each other. The Power that Be were taking their damn sweet time giving him his humanity and I was a little irritated by it.

I felt like screaming to the sky: _Get off your ass and do your damn job!_

They must know that Angel was probably itching for his humanity to be returned too. They were freakin masochists. Angel would be so much happier. I thought that's what they stood for.

Through my fuming I felt a hand in my shoulder. I turned my head to meet his brown eyes.

"Hey," he said softly. I stared at him for a second.

"Hi" I finally replied. He gave me his hand, obviously in a gesture to get up. I took it willingly.

Angel POV:

We walked to the edge of the pit and she stopped, looking at the moon. I put my arms around her waste and she held my hands as I watched her.

She didn't look at me, but spaced, thinking of other things. I pressed my face into her hair. It smelled of lemons. I barely noticed her breathing speed up a little. She lifted one of my hands to her lips and she kissed it softly.

I pressed my lips against her throat, feeling the soft skin that was still familiar to me, even after six years. I looked up to see her eyes closed and her lips partially open.

It made her feel good. I kissed her throat again and she turned so her lips brushed mine. We slowly lifted our heads kissing softly…just a taste of an old relationship.

I was so lost in the moment I didn't notice my hands knotting in her hair. She involuntarily gripped my head and pulled me tighter to her. The thrill of an old flame reigniting was intoxicating.

My body shook slightly as Buffy ran her hands down to the angel wing of my tattoo…


	8. Wonder

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Buffy POV:

My hands twisted in his hair and he gripped me tighter to him, making the kissing that much more inevitable to happen.

My tears rolled down as I let my own selfish desire take control. I broke off, catching oxygen. He kissed my throat while we were still standing. The need of air distracted me from him and gave me a moment of perspective. I pushed him off of me and he came to the realization of what he was doing.

My gasping went to panting as my tears ran slowly down my cheeks. He stared off into the distance as the guilt of wanting me sank into him, and his usual brooding air returned. His teeth were gritted in anger, no doubt. Seeing him in this much pain was almost more than I could bear.

His hands clenched and unclenched in frustration. I couldn't figure out why he would be this angry. I mean…I don't like it much either. And I've learned to accept it. But, obviously, he hadn't. His brow furrowed randomly.

"Angel," I said.

He looked to me, weary.

"Angel…it's no big deal. We just have to learn to let it be, for now," I said.

He looked to me with broken eyes. I was so surprised by his reaction. "Buffy, I know we can't…but it's just so hard. It's been four years and I still miss you so much. And now that you're close enough to touch…" he ran the back of his hand across my cheek, leaving a trail of fire behind him, "It's almost too much…but I can't let you go. At least, for now."

My tears came a little less now as I looked at his reaction with more common sense. I nodded in response.

I put my hand on his cheek to calm him. He breathed out softly, and I swear a growl escaped his throat. Even though we couldn't do what we wanted most, that didn't mean I couldn't kiss him.

He was looking at the ground when he felt my hand make contact with his face. He looked up slowly, his dark eyes focused, no longer brooding.

Angel POV:

My hands encircled her waist. Her light green eyes traced my face. I leaned in slowly, trying not to spoil the moment. I started with a soft kiss, as did she.

The kiss was comfortable, almost casual. But my passion boiled over and I once again got lost in her embrace.

We parted so our foreheads touched.

"I…I have to go sleep. Busy day tomorrow," she excused herself.

I walked up to her and muttered her name, "Buffy." She turned around and my lips met hers before she could even speak. This time, I grabbed clumps of her hair, making the lemony smell flow in the air.

Her body moved with mine as her fingers traced my pale face. Her touch was heating my skin by a thousand degrees.

The moonlight gleamed over us as she continued, not letting go.

Dawn POV:

I watched from afar as my sister and Angel kissed each other. Jealousy was fresh in my stomach as their bodies seemed to move in unison.

My sister always got the best. She got a sweet, soulful vampire who would do anything for her. She had another one who died for her in Sunnydale. She also had a tight knit circle of friends that I could never find.

Like I said…jealous.

And the worst part is, all my closest friends were her friends too. I mean my best friend had left before Sunnydale had even had a trace of the First.

My boyfriend (yes, I had a boyfriend) had left only because I had made him. He wanted me to come with him, but I couldn't abandon every body. His name was Logan. And…I loved him. But I have no idea where he was.

Logan was…different. He had special abilities. It wasn't always the best abilities. Of course, I would never tell Buffy about it or she would flip. His abilities could be very deadly. Or ability was more of the word to use. He can change things into there opposites.

And it can be deadly. He can change health into sickness, or the other way around. He can change a boy into a girl and back. It can be a very useful power, but he never uses it unless it was absolutely necessary.

He called it something funky, like riversokinesis. Yeah that was it. But I came to call it opposition.

It was an interesting condition, but it would never work.

In the meantime, I had to settle with the jealousy of watching my sister get touched by her ex. I felt lonely, but my sister was far more affected by this than I was.

I decided to bring up Logan at a later time.

Buffy POV:

I felt somebody's gaze bore into my back. It made me feel uncomfortable. This moment with Angel was for me and him only. Nobody else should be watching us. Angel broke off from me to give me some air.

My gaze never left his flowing, brown eyes. He was beaming. I put my hand on his cheek as he whispered, "I love you."

My heart leaped in my chest. He loved me. Somehow, I thought it should've been obvious when he was practically groping me. But…when he said it, it was just more final. I needed reminding that he'll always be mine.

We walked around the ditch for a little, hand in hand. I almost felt like a carefree seventeen-year-old, with her cradle robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend. I smiled at the old joke.

It cheered him up all those years ago, when he clearly felt guilty about being my boy friend. He noticed my smile.

"What?" he asked, a smile playing across his lovely face.

"Oh, nothing" I replied. I looked down trying to hide me smirk. He decided to let it go. Or so I thought.

I heard him mutter Willow's name.

"She won't tell you," I said cleverly.

"And why not?" he asked, confused.

That was when we came across a body. He had mahogany hair touching skin with flush from the sun. He looked very frail. His eyes were drooping, as if he were barely conscious.

Me and Angel looked to each other then rushed to the stranger's side. I checked if he was still breathing. He was, but barely. Angel checked the speed of his pulse. He said it was slowing.

He also looked as if he had had no water or food for days, at least two and a half. We had to get him to the camp and save questions for later. Angel and I put his arms around our shoulders and helped him limp to the camp.

Willow POV:

I woke to the sound of more than two pairs of feet coming our way. I slowly opened my eyes from the vivid dream I was having.

I saw Buffy and Angel walking just fine, but they had a third person with them. He looked half-dead with closed eye lids. His breathing came in gasps at the rapid movement of his body that Angel and Buffy were forcing him to take. Buffy saw my eyes were open.

"Will, I need your help," she said, concern clear in her tone.

"What happened? Who is this?" I asked.

"We found this guy lying half-dead by the ditch. We don't know who he is. We didn't check his ID. Can you take him to the bus?" she explained.

"Sure, of course," I said.

Buffy and Angel laid him on the ground. I cast a spell on him that made him float effortlessly. With simple movements of my hand, I steered him to the bus.

"Dawny, can you get the first aid kit?" I asked Dawn. She nodded, no emotion flitting across her face. I opened the doors and steered him to the largest chair in the back. I checked his blood pressure and his breathing rate. They were low.

He had grim line etched on his face.As if he had eternal grief. I checked his temperature and his head was hot from the sun. I muttered healing spells that lowered his temperature.

Dawny gave me some water which I poured into his mouth. At first, he denied it. But, as he realized that it was water, he began to drink and drink and drink…

Dawn was more helpful to me than ever before. It was strange. She set up a ham sandwich for him. When I gave it to him, he ate it in two bites. He still hadn't developed the strength to open his eyes fully.

He slept for most of the night. Angel was a little grouchy about not being able to use the seat. As I healed him, I used my talent of interrogating to think of different ways to get answers out of him.

Those times when he did open his eyes, I caught a glimpse of brilliant ember eyes. Dawn gave me supplies and extra when I needed it…but she avoided the strangers gaze whenever she was near him.

I just shrugged it off and continued to heal him and give updates to Angel and Buffy on his condition (mainly because Angel wanted the big seat back, I think).


	9. Misunderstanding

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Buffy's POV:

The boy was becoming stronger everyday. But, he still hadn't opened his eyes. Every task he did was with his eyes closed. Every now and then he would mutter something about _her_ _missing_. When he was sleeping, he would wake screaming in the middle of the night, waking up whoever was taking care of him and everyone else in the camp.

Dawn acted stranger and stranger everyday. She wasn't even more emotionless than before, and her gaze never bored into my back like it used to. She just looked off into the stars, thinking of other things.

At the moment, I was training only three slayers, Vi, Rona, and Kennedy. They were the only ones who didn't complain about their destiny. The ones who did, were put in Faith's class. Since all three were the top students, they each had their own talents.

Kennedy was very precise with long range shots. Vi, surprisingly, could wield any weapon given to her. Rona was best with her fists and feet. Ever since we discovered the boy, we always had teams three looking out. One is covering long distance, one on the front lines, and one hiding in the shadows.

"Now, Vi, you're going to battle me with swords all right," she nodded, totally focused. I handed her a medieval sword, while I stuck with Roman. We circled each other, ready to strike at any moment.

"Close your eyes, and don't peak. Am I clear?" I asked.

She nodded. I kicked off my boots so I was walked with only my socks. It would make the attack quieter. I approached her slowly from one side, when I was two and a half feet from her I jumped and landed without a sound on her other side.

Her head twitched in my direction. I smiled slightly, as she focused. I stalked towards her, raising my sword for a coming down attack. At the last minute, I moved the sword to attack from the side. Her sword was up before I had even made the full swing.

She pushed, so my sword was out of her face. We swung our swords, so they glistened in the sun. It lasted for what felt like hours. Eventually, we ended up in a draw, or so I thought. We were pushing against each other, when Vi backed up suddenly, causing the sword to go flying and me to land flat on my face.

I picked myself up and stared at Vi. She had remorse written all over her face, but I smiled.

"Did you know, Vi that you were the first person to _ever_ beat me in a sword fight?" her eyes widened a little, but she was trying to hide a smug smile. I nodded to her in approval. She beamed.

"Ok, guys its nearing noon. Giles, Dawn, and Xander are about done with their shift. After lunch, you guys take over till about six," they nodded, without hesitation. We went to walk over to the shady side of the bus to eat.

Dawn, Giles, and Xander came holding weapons. Well most of them. Giles was obviously the muscle. Xander held a Greek axe and Dawn was holding a cross bow. I'm glad they left her with the safest position.

They handed their weapons to Vi and Kennedy.

Giles and Dawn sat on either side of me and Xander sat across from me. Willow emerged from the bus, muttering a spell that conjured up ham and turkey sandwiches for everybody.

I know it was wrong to encourage Willow to use magic, but what else could we do? We had no supplies, no food, no water, but we had the most powerful Wiccan on this side of the Himalayas. What would anyone else do in our situation?

She sat next to Xander and Kennedy sat next to her. Faith sat on the other side of Xander. I felt like I was missing somebody, but then I remembered he couldn't come out into the sunlight.

"Find anything?" I asked Giles.

"No, not really. This desert is endless," he replied. I nodded, satisfied. Giles and I got lost in our own conversation about the boy. Faith and Xander talked for a little. Willow and Kennedy were having silent conversation in their heads.

Dawn, on the other hand, was staring at the bus. She was completely silent. Willow, Xander, and I all noticed. Worry was etched on our faces.

Angel POV:

Sigh. The kid that Buffy and I found was lying in _my _seat. I tried not to make a big deal about it, because it was childish. But, seriously, he wasn't hurt anymore. He didn't need it that much.

The boy was lying with his eyes closed, his chest moving up and down easily. He must've not been older than seventeen. Close to Dawn's age. His fists were constantly clenched, as if in agony. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. The only time I ever felt that way was when Buffy had…I couldn't finish the thought.

I let out a sharp, frustrated breath. How long could he possibly go on like this.

I didn't notice his eyes snap open. When I looked up at his face, his eyes were no longer amber. They were black. It covered his entire eyes, including his whites.

He flicked his head to me and shot up, leaving me dazed. He stood up immediately, his eyes never leaving my face.

Instinctively and stupidly, my face morphed into a demon's. His eyes widened in horror at my face. I noticed a glowing coming from his hands. Light blue wires were _growing_ out of his left hand. They were long.

He lifted his hand, as if to slap me. He slashed the wires square into my chest. It didn't hurt at first. But the aftershock was…unbearable. It was like stabbing and burning and being shot all at the same time.

I collapsed to the floor, barely noticing as the boy retracted the wires and bolted out the door, through my ear-splitting screams.

Buffy POV:

My ears caught the sound of a scream, a man's scream. Four of them were sitting around me. One was sleeping and the other was unconscious, so it must be… I shot for the bus. Willow and Dawn followed me.

Angel was on his knees, tears of pain rolling down his face. I ran up to him, falling to my knees. I pushed his shoulders up so he could look at me. His eyes were pitch black. He was panting hard, trying to keep back screams.

"Buffy…the boy…he attacked…his eyes, they were…" I shushed him.

"Angel, just breath. We'll take care of this," I turned to Dawn and Willow, "Dawn, go to Faith. Tell her to take Vi, Rona, Kennedy, and you to find this freak."

Dawn winced at something I said but nodded and went to find Faith.

My eyes flicked to Jonathan and back to Willow. "Will, I need you to get anything out of the would-be-vamp."

Willow nodded and levitated herself up to the ceiling to come face to face with the nerd. I turned my attention back to Angel.

"Angel…we're gonna help you, all right?" I told him. Razor sharp teeth were growing in his mouth. "I won't let anything happen to you. Do you understand? I won't let anything happen to you. I promise," I whispered, so only he could hear.

Dawn POV:

Oh crap! We were going to hunt down the boy. Even in the distance, I could see the bright blue glow from him. Faith didn't like the idea of me tagging along, but I was so glad that Buffy had let me go.

Faith had a stake, and the rest were using their specialties. I was, well, weaponless. And for once, I was glad. Weapons wouldn't calm him down. I was the only one who could make him remotely calm.

When we got to a rock, we peaked around to find he was changing all the rocks into air. Faith nodded to all of us. Kennedy perched herself on top of the rock. Rona hid behind the rock and Vi was to approach the boy with Faith.

Faith and Vi thought they had the element of surprise. They didn't know that the boy's powers enhanced his senses. Buffy was going to kill me for not saying anything.

He spun over to face them. Reflexively, Faith and Vi raised their swords, but he easily removed them from their spot, just by barely brushing their faces with his blue extensions.

Kennedy shot an arrow at him, and I almost yelled out in horror, which was only stopped when he made the arrow morph into a pillow. He extended his blue whips, so they crashed into every single part of the rock. Only one blue wire barely brushed Kennedy's hair, and she was writhing in agony

His teeth were gritted in anger, which he released in an agonizing scream—to me at least. Tears streamed down his face. A lump filled my throat as his expression made me clutch my abdomen.

He walked out of the clearing, only to be ambushed by Rona. In fury, he tangled his whips around her entire body and untangled them, without any sign of remorse.

He walked away from me. I stayed absolutely still and followed him quietly all the way back to the camp.

Xander POV:

I was commanding the front lines, keeping an eye on every single slayer we had who could wield a sword. Giles had control over the ambush team. Andrew was watching over the distance team.

I could see a faint blue glow in the distance, but it was free. Faith, Rona, Vi, and Kennedy weren't following. I tried my hardest to at least see Dawn…if anyone survived, it had to be her. But I didn't see her either.

I lowered my head in anticipated grief.

Buffy POV:

A wolf. The jerk had turned my sweet Angel into a werewolf. Willow and I had stayed behind to take care of him. We had to tranquilize him, so he couldn't fight the jerk. He was a covered in black fur, no sign of the vampire I knew left in him.

It wasn't even a full moon.

In his unconsciousness, he would thrash out. He hit Willow in the face once, but she just healed herself. Only at my touch, would he calm. I had the feeling that I was the only connection I had for him to this world.

What I couldn't figure out was how the boy could do this. He was just a boy when we found him. And of all things to change him into, a werewolf?

I also had a feeling that Dawn was keeping something from me. I think it was connected to the boy. I had to ask her when she came back. If she did…I shuddered at the thought of her not returning.

All the while, I sat by Angel's side, touching his furry cheek whenever he started to fight. I hated seeing him like this. He wasn't a wolf. He wasn't an animal. But yet he snarled and moved like one. Like I said, I hated it. Willow always knew what to do with him though.

Having a werewolf for a boyfriend had its perks. She knew when he was hungry, when he was annoyed, and when he needed some entertainment. Of course, they all equaled the same thing. He wanted to hunt. I ignored his growling protests, touching him whenever he got anxious.

Tears of frustration and anger would roll down my face. I wanted my vampire back, not this thing that has replaced him. Will seemed to treat with even more respect than before. Probably because he reminded her of her first love.

Will suddenly stood up and looked out the window.

"Buffy," she called me. I went over to her and looked to where her gaze held. In the distance, I saw Xander's division blocking blue rays, the rays danced in the night sky. There neon glow brightened our camp more than the fire ever did. He had come unharmed. He fought all the slayers off one by one, not exactly killing them. He finally got to Xander.

Xander, surprisingly, kept up a fight with him the longest. He dodged and jumped over the rays for about ten minutes, until the boy whipped him with his other hand. Xander was on the ground, shaking. The boy marched forward, easily fighting off the stealth and muscle.

He snapped his head up, just as Andrew's team shot arrow in his direction. He changed all the wires into…pillows? Why the hell would he do that? What kind of villain was he?

The pillows fell to the ground and he whipped his rays into the long distance team. He walked over to the bus, where only Will, Angel, and I were.

The door flew across the bus. Willow set up a barrier that stopped the freak momentarily. Angel started to thrash again, and I touched his cheek. I barely noticed the light blue of the shield fade to a clear, liquid form.

Willow POV:

He was crying. Tears, endless tears poured out of his eyes. His teeth were barred and his eyes pitch black. My hold on the shield softened a little.

"Why?" I asked him. He just stood frozen, "Why are you hurting everyone? Where are Kennedy and Dawn?" I asked, more forcefully. His brow knit together as I mentioned Dawn's named.

His face became agonized again.

"Dawn?" he asked, confused. His voice was deeper than I what I had expected. It had a coldness to it that was trying its best to cover up the pain in his voice.

"Yes, Dawn" I replied.

He shook his head in denial, "What are you talking about? Dawn? She wasn't with them. I didn't see her," he said mostly to himself.

"Where are they?" I asked again.

"I…I…" he couldn't answer.

"What is your name?" I asked impatiently.

He snapped his head so his gaze met mine. He sliced through my shield, barely hitting my shoulder. I ducked expecting him to attack again. But he headed straight to Buffy, hovering over Angel.

Buffy didn't notice at first that he was there, she was weeping into Angel's shoulder, clearly distressed. She turned, probably expecting me, but met the gaze of the boy instead.

"Buffy, avoid his rays!" I shouted. She pretended not to hear me, to protect me. He grabbed Buffy by the collar so they were nose to nose.

"Why did you rescue me? I was finally finding peace and you take that away from me. Why?" he whispered to her.

She stopped crying, meeting his gaze with fury, "Because it's my job," she answered. She punched him square in the chest. He flew to the front of the bus, but Buffy collapsed in pain. I ran over to her, trying to keep her steady. The boy ran out of the bus.

Principle Wood POV:

He ran straight out of the bus, wincing in pain. My team of slayer waited at the edge of the camp. I was holding a sword over my shoulder. He ran straight to our set up.

When he saw us in front of him, he stopped. He had a helpless look on his face, but I could tell he was planning something. He whipped his blue wires out from his fingertips and made them dance in the air. I barely noticed the air turn into dust giving him…camouflage.

My slayers charged into the cloud. I saw a faint blue glow and I charged into the cloud, unafraid. It was the stupidest decision I had ever made. He just brushed my ankle slightly and I had collapsed into a fit of tears and pain. It was overwhelming. He ran straight for the pit. The last glimpse I caught was the beautiful sun setting behind the horizon before I passed out.

Dawn POV:

A dust cloud covered the camp. I didn't walk into it willingly; afraid he would accidentally attack me. I ran to the pit to get a clearer look. Over the cloud, I saw Principle Wood get thrown in the air.

The boy retracted his rays and ran straight towards where I stood agony clear on his face. He didn't see me at first. He just sprinted to the pit as the sun set. I just stood where I was.

His eyes were pitch black, his face twisted in rage. When he saw me, he prepared to strike. But he hesitated. His face turned from rage to confusion to…relief. Fresh tears pooled in his eyes. I walked up to him slowly, showing him that it was me. He seemed to be denying it, for some reason.

I put my hand on his face as I whispered his name, "Logan."

Logan POV:

I was hallucinating. I must be. Dawn couldn't be here. She was gone. She was in the pit. But still her touch felt so…real, so comforting. I didn't really deny it; more like I was trying to welcome it, but my brain wanted to keep me in present second.

"D-Dawn," I stuttered her name. Tears stung her beautiful brown eyes as she tried to calm me. I touched her cheek, knowing my powers wouldn't affect her. She dropped her hand and pressed my own deeper into her cheek.

Her tears broke free, but a smile spread across her face. She seemed to be searching my eyes. My hands stopped glowing. She whispered to me, "Calm Logan. For me."

I breathed deeply her fresh ocean scent. I felt my eyes lose its fierceness. They faded back to ember. She leaned her head closer into me, brushing some of my shaggy hair out of my face.

It hit me. My love was alive. She had survived the destruction of Sunnydale. I encased her head in my hands. "You're here. You're alive," I said. My tears spilled again as my lips brushed hers. I started soft, to savor the moment. She knotted her hands in my hair.

I ran my hands through hers as our lips moved slowly, shaping perfectly with each other.


	10. Revelation

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Dawn POV:

"You're alive?" he asked, stunned.

I raised an eye brow in wonder, "Uh…yeah. Why?" I asked.

"The pit…I never saw you leave it. You were trapped in the school. I…was at your house, but…" his voice broke as more tears poured down his face. I put my hand on his face so calm him, but he did the exact opposite.

He looked into my eyes, and for the first time I noticed his eyes were red and puffy. He must've been sobbing for days. I smoothed out his dark hair. His skin had gone pale. His face was trying to grasp the truth, but underneath it I saw a trace of pain.

"Dawn," he whispered my name before he sank to his knees. He sobbed into my shirt, hugging me tight. I sank too, so I could kiss his forehead, his nose, his cheek.

When I came to his mouth I whispered to him, "I'm sorry I made you go." I met his lips, but only momentarily. He parted them this time. His face turned to a scowl.

"They're coming," he said. He extended his rays from his fingertips.

"No," I told him calmly, "they're my family."

He looked at me for one moment, searching my face. Then, clearly unsatisfied, he retracted his wires. He stood by my side, resting his arms around my shoulders. He pressed his face into my hair momentarily. It took my breath away.

Willow was basically the only one who came. The rest of them were probably writhing in agony, changing.

"Oh and Logan," he switched his attention to my face, "please change everyone back when everything is settled, please?" I asked.

He just nodded, willing to do anything I asked him. Willow finally made it past the "cloud of dust" and her eyes widened in fear as she saw Logan touching me.

"Dawn, walk away from him slowly," she told me. Logan's face twisted a little into one of despair.

"Willow, no. I know who he is. His name is," I paused, looking at his beautiful features, "Logan."

Willow raised one eyebrow in surprise, "How do you know that?" she asked suspiciously.

"He, um, well…can we talk about this back at the bus?" I asked her.

She nodded, glaring at his arm lying on my shoulder. She led the way through the cloud.

"Logan?" I asked him. He looked to me for a moment, before extending his wires to change the dust back to air. Willow noticed and eyed him suspiciously.

"Will, just go," I told her. She turned to me for an instant before leading the way back to the bus. When I arrived, Buffy was writhing. I put my hand on her trembling palm.

She calmed a little. I helped her crawl to Angel. She touched him and they both calmed instantly. But Buffy still groaned.

I turned my attention to Logan. I stepped out of the way to give him some room. He walked up to Buffy first, guilt of turning her etched across his face. His hand glowed as he laid his palm on her forehead.

For a moment, she looked like she was raised by her head, like she was a magnet. A second later, her groans stopped. She breathed in deeply before opening her eyes to see Logan's beautiful amber ones.

She was ready to punch him, but I touched her shoulder.

"Buffy, don't touch him" I told her.

Buffy POV:

Don't touch him? Why? He was the guy who practically put me in hell after all.

"Dawn, what's going on?" I asked.

Dawn winced a little, probably thinking I was going to kill her, "Um…well…first thing's first, Logan can you?" she asked the boy, who was apparently named Logan.

Logan nodded. He went over to Angel and placed his glowing palm on Angel's furry chest.

"What? No. STOP!" I yelled. He was hurting my Angel. He had to stop. Why was he doing this? Dawn held me down whispering in my ear that it'll be all right.

Logan removed his hand from Angel's chest. Angel began to lash out.

"What did you do?!" I yelled to him.

"Buffy, Buffy! Angel's not human. The transformation back will be more painful," I told her.

"Back to what?" I asked her, hope for his humanity sparking in my chest.

"Back to a vampire," she answered. My heart sank. Ugh!

My Angel slowly morphed into his old self. His bare chest shone bright under the stars. He was lashing out a little bit. I ducked under is flying limbs and touched his shoulder.

He calmed instantly. His dark eyes slowly opening. When he searched the room, he came eye to eye with Logan. His face vamped out.

Logan backed away in response, "Angel," I whispered his name. He looked to me for a second, reading my face. He morphed back into his natural face.

I put my hand on his arm. He closed his eyes, relishing in my touch. I glanced at Logan. He turned to leave, but not before his arm was encircled by Dawn's. Willow walked behind them.

Angel POV:

They were green, her eyes. Where was I? All I could remember was her name, her face, her touch. "Buffy? Buffy what happened?" I asked her. She looked to me, as if it should be obvious.

"Well, let's see. That guy who just walked out of the bus," she pointed in the direction of the boy, "he turned you into a werewolf."

I raised one eyebrow in surprise. I didn't remember being furry. I shrugged it off, deciding to bask in her eyes.

"Buffy, what did he do to you?" I asked, concerned.

She sighed, "Angel, nothing deathly serious," she said to me. I looked to her as the fury sparked within me. My hands clenched into fists.

She noticed my anger and she put her hand on my face. I breathed in her scent deeply. I sighed, relaxing a little. "Don't hunt him down, okay? He seems really important to Dawn," she told me.

That surprised me. Dawn _liked _this guy. I shook my head in confusion. Buffy smiled a little at my response. I sat up slowly, still a little week from the transformation. Buffy stood so she was face to face with me.

"You know, personally, I like you better as a vampire," she told me.

I smiled playfully, "Well, I'll do my best to stay that way."

She smiled and chuckled a little, "Hopefully, not too long," she whispered in my ear. She leaned in and kissed my throat softly. I breathed in ecstasy.

"What do you mean?" I asked. She sighed again.

"Angel, I mean I like you as a vamp better than a werewolf. That doesn't mean I want you as a vampire forever," she told me.

My face slipped from entertained to sad.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Last year, Giles found the Shanshu Prophecy in one of his books. I was too depressed to tell…though apparently you knew," she explained.

"It was in English," she added. My face turned confused.

"You're joking. I found that prophecy four years ago. Even Wes had a hard time translating it. So, does it actually say that I'm going to turn…?" I trailed off.

"Yes," she smiled. I breathed a sigh of relief.

She lightly pushed me so my back was parallel with the seat rest. She climbed onto the seat, her knees bending outwards. She rested herself on my lap, her blond hair dancing in beautiful curls down her back.

My shirt was still off as she traced my chest. Her palm rested on the place where my heart would be beating.

"I hope," I looked up, attentive; "I hope this beats someday soon. Maybe before I turn thirty," her voice was full of hope and…fears. Her eyes were sad, her face cold. She obviously was trying to keep herself from breaking down.

I could barely stand to see her like this. I held her head in my iron grasp. She looked up to me, a single tear rolling down her cheek. I bushed it away. I searched her eyes for any hint of happiness left. There was none at the moment.

I leaned in, my breath touching her face.

She breathed in my scent as I traced her lips with my fingertip. She leaned in as well, meeting my lips with hers. Again, involuntarily, I tangled my hands in her golden hair. She gripped my head tighter to hers, my eyes closed as my body curved with hers.

More tears spilled out of her eyes as she started to realize that we were crossing our limits. Still, I kept on going. I moved from her hair to her forehead, tracing her jaw line. I never stopped kissing her. She broke free of me, to breath.

I moved to her throat, failing in my attempt to fight off my old desire. Her gentle, warm skin morphed into goose bumps among the trail I left with my lips. Her breathing became erratic as I moved to her collar bone.

That was when Willow walked into the room.

"Buffy?" she asked. Buffy whirled her head around, making kissing her that much harder. My perspective changed as I realized we had to stop.

Buffy looked into my eyes for one long moment. Then she removed herself from her spot and sat next to me. She laid her head up against the seat and closed her eyes, breathing softly.

"Buffy, Dawn had some things she wants to tell you," she said. A growl developed deep in my throat. I knew it was stupid, but I desperately wanted Buffy. As she walked out of the bus, she glanced back at me.

As soon as she round the corner, I took the same position as hers. I closed my eyes, remembering her all those years ago. Just after she saved me from the first…

_She guided me to my mansion. Her hand was covered in sweat from holding mine for hours. She smiled up to me, her eyes soft. She opened my door and I sat on the couch. She sat there with me, lying on my chest._

_I ran my fingers through her hair. My mind wandered to much happier times, before we knew about my soul—how I could lose it. It was a time where I could love her freely, without any limits. Now…I knew I had to suffer._

_But still, the feel of her hair, the sound of her heart. It was…beautiful. I heard her soft breathing. I looked down to see her eyes closed her face at peace. For the first time since I hugged her, I kissed her forehead._

_I kissed her temple, her nose, the top of her head. The feelings—that had been dulled in the hell dimension—came full force. A tear ran down my cheek at the thought that __she__ was the one who had sent me there_

_But…I didn't care. She had done it because the world would've ended otherwise. And even if it wasn't, I still would've forgiven her…_

My eyes opened, and sadness bordering on depression came on me to the fact that she wasn't there.

Dawn POV:

I tried to swallow, but I was little…nervous. Not even under Logan's touch could I calm. But it did take the edge off. Buffy walked over to me, her mind somewhere else. Willow shot me a warning glance, to not go overboard with my story.

Buffy came in speaking distance of me. "Dawn? What the hell is going on?" she asked, annoyed.

I breathed deeply. "Well…um…Buffy first of all this is Logan. Logan, Buffy" I introduced them.

"Nice to meet you," his beautiful, deep voice rang in my ears.

Buffy just nodded and shot her eyes back to me, "Dawn continue," she said.

I gulped, "Well…Buffy…Logan is my…boyfriend" for lack of a better word.

Buffy's eyes narrowed in disappointment. "He," she pointed to him as if he was a wild animal, "him, of all the people you could've chosen you chose _him_?" she asked, disgusted.

"Yes, him" I answered her, my temper flaring.

"Why?" she asked me, confused.

"For the same reason you love Angel. For the same reason that Willow loves Kennedy. Because he's mine, I met him just before you came back. He helped me through that time," I told her, controlling my anger.

"When you weren't there, and Spike was…he was there. He helped through a lot," I continued, "he was only using his powers because he thought I was dead."

"That doesn't excuse it Dawn. It doesn't make it right to hurt people just because your lover is dead," she told me. My eyes flickered to Willow.

Her face had saddened at Buffy's words. My mind flashed back to when she almost attacked me at Rack's old place. She was scary, all veiny and everything. Buffy's eyes widened when she realized she had hurt Willow.

"Aw, Will…"she walked up to her best friend. Will faced her, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Will," she told her. She took the red head into a hug. Willow whispered something in her ear, and Buffy smiled.

"Thanks," she said. Buffy turned back to me.

"Dawn, I don't trust him. But if you can keep him under control and reverse everybody then he can stay. If he is unprotected and someone else wants to hurt him, I'll do my best to protect him," she told me.

She turned her gaze to Logan, "If you _ever_ hurt her, ever, then my fist will be the last thing you'll ever see," she told him. His expression, knowing he would never hurt me, was smooth as he nodded.

Buffy walked back to the bus. Willow trailed after her. I took Logan to the edge of the pit, passing the morphing bodies. Remorse was clear on his face.

I took his hand in mine, "Don't let her get to you. She's just trying to look out for me."

He shook his head, "I'm not scared. I know you'd do the same for her. But if I do ever hurt you…I think I might welcome…" he trailed off, moving his sad face into the view of the skies. I looked up at him, my face morphing into rage.

"Logan, don't you dare, ever think that," I commanded.

He looked to me, his eyes sad. He gripped my head between his hands. I closed my eyes, reveling in his touch.

"I thought I lost you," he told me. His lips caressed with my forehead. A knot in my stomach formed. I leaned in close and kissed his neck, which was mostly bone. I opened my eyes to see a tear roll down his face from his closed eyes.

I closed my eyes, fighting back my own tears. His sadness caused the knot in my stomach to tighten painfully. I gripped my sides discreetly.

Even after my silent protests, a tear found its way out of my eye. I imagined his tears dance with mine as they fell to the desert floor.

"I'm sorry I made you go. I'm sorry I left you. I tried to save Sunnydale," I broke off in a broken laugh, "and look how that turned out." My sobbing started suddenly. I cried into his shirt.

He wrapped his arms around my body. He continuously whispered in my ear, "It'll be okay. I still love you. It'll be okay…" But I couldn't believe him. First Mom, then Tara, now Spike!

It was so…wrong. Good people, who would die for those who they love, end up dying in the end. Logan buried his face in my hair and my tears stopped momentarily. The feel of his skin on mine had distracted me for moments…moments that I never wanted to end.

After a while, I looked into his beautiful face. "Thank you," I whispered. He didn't speak, but smiled. He lied down on the ground, opening his arms for me to lie in.

I crawled into his embrace. I laid my head on his chest.

He encircled my body with his muscular arms. He shrugged off his jacket to use as a pillow for his head. Personally, his chest was just fine for me.

We didn't speak after that. We looked at the clear night sky and the beautiful full moon. In the silence, we both watched the stars dance. I would randomly kiss his throat in response to him kissing the top of my head.

All the while, I brushed my thumb against his arm…


	11. Intermission

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators

Buffy POV:

I walked back to the bus in a rage, barely noticing Will following me.

"What Will?" I asked her, irritated.

"Buffy, can you not be so hard on Dawn? She really needs you now and…you of all people should know what she has," Willow started.

"And why should I know?" I asked.

Willow rolled her eyes and gestured towards the bus.

"That's…different," I told her.

"Aha, sure" she said sarcastically.

"It is. Angel didn't have a choice. Luke…Larry…whatever the heck his name has had all the choices in the world," I pointed out, my temper flaring.

Will rolled her eyes again, "Buffy, just promise me you won't be too hard on her," she said again.

I scoffed and walked away. I looked back for an instant, a slight smugness in her smile. I stomped my way onto the bus to see Angel laying his head against the top of the seat, his eyes closed.

I walked up to him slowly, sitting down next to him soundlessly. In the silence, I noticed he didn't have any hint of stress in his state. He seemed completely at peace. I sometimes wondered what went on his head.

I didn't bother to stir him.

I just loved it when he slept. He always seemed to have pain in his eyes. When he slept, his face would fall slack, never twitching, never agonized.

He would just sleep, breathing deeply.

So low, the words slipped out involuntarily, "I love you," I said. His mouth twitched.

He wasn't sleeping, just thinking.

Angel POV:

I was so lost in her gaze. The beautiful memory was pleasing in every way. Painful, but dulled for the moment.

It was the night after we had defeated the Mayor. I caught her eye and I was trapped in her green orbs. There was an emotion in them that was…incomprehensible. My jaw tightened as pain flitted to her eyes.

I knew the next thing I would do is walk away.

But something else happened instead. She mouthed to me, "I love you."

Suddenly, instead of walking away from her, ready to clutch myself if the agony threatened to take over, I…stepped forward…

I opened my eyes, to meet Buffy's brilliant green eyes. She was looking at me curiously, as if she was confused. I wondered why.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

Her brow puckered up in surprise, "I was thinking about…your eyes," she replied.

I looked to her, confused, "What?" I asked, trying to make sense of her answer.

"Your eyes weren't…sad…" she replied.

Were my eyes usually sad?

"Angel…have you ever gotten over the guilt," I asked her.

Sudden anxiety took me over, as it always did when I thought about my past… "No," my voice broke.

Sudden tears stung my eyes. I tried to wipe them away, but Buffy touched my hand instead, keeping me there.

Her face turned agonized. She snuggled into my chest, her lemony scent rushing off of her. A tear broke free, rolling down my face.

It landed in her hair. She must've felt it, for when she looked up at me, she brushed away another tear.

She leaned in closer this time, her lips inches from mine…


	12. The stars

Angel POV:

A week had passed since that battle with Logan. Everyone was healing nicely. Faith and Principal Wood were hurt the most and they seemed to be hostile with this…mutant. Even when Dawn was with him, their respect for him was next to nothing.

I couldn't blame them either. What was this kid? The transformation I went through was excruciatingly painful—and that wasn't the worst of it. There was something about him that was familiar. He was so much like my son…

I sighed to myself, fighting back the grief that overtook me every time I thought of Connor. Most people would pity me in the amount of pain that was kept nice and tight inside me. But I'd been through worst. I'd literally been through hell.

Remembering that night I was sent…_there_, I looked to Buffy from inside the bus. She was standing at the edge of the pit, just looking out into the desolate wasteland that was once Sunnydale. It made me ache to see her like that. To watch her stand there, knowing full well that she was grieving again! After seven years of nothing but constant grief, and now this.

I ran my hands through my hair, worried for her.

"Why do you love her?" a familiar voice rang.

I looked up to the urchin strapped to the ceiling of the boss. I gave him my "famous" what's-it-to-you look.

"I mean, c'mon! She's a drama queen, arrogant, and her blood must be amazingly _pleasant_" he reasoned.

I knew I should've snapped his neck. But I couldn't argue with him. Her blood was….amazingly empowering. I would know. But I pushed those thoughts away, slightly disgusted with myself. "You really shouldn't be talking," I said in a low voice.

"Psh. I'm not any of those things," he replied.

I didn't feel like arguing. Some part of me knew he was still talking…but I just tuned him out. I continued to watch Buffy, knowing full well that the chances of her moving from that spot were low.

Buffy POV:

I could feel his eyes on my back. His amazing chestnut pools, I could tell, weren't judgmental. Just worried.

I didn't mean to concern him, but I just didn't want to look away from my home. My heart was throbbing in my chest as the memories from my first day in Sunnydale flow into my mind. My eyes were stinging once again, and I closed my eyes, not wanting any of them to fall.

"Damn emotions," I swore to myself.

I could feel the sun setting and I was eternally grateful for it. I wanted to be able to see him _outside_ of the bus again. I stood there until the sun set over the horizon. I could see the stars so clearly, the desert landscape amazing.

A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and a familiar body pressed close to my back. My stomach dropped a foot at the mere feel of him. I sighed involuntarily.

"You know. In most romance stories, the moon is a symbol of love," he said.

I smiled, "That I do know," I replied.

"Well, the thing is," he turned me around gently so I was facing him, "The moon, to me, is just a giant rock in the sky," he explained.

He leaned in closely and breathed, "I believe the stars are a symbol of love. Endless, Pleasing," he said quietly, "And so hard to see clearly, that when you catch a perfect view, it's the one things you don't want to let go of, but can lose so easily" he said.

I smiled up at him, looking into his eyes. They were staring up at the sky, watching the thousands of diamonds glinting in the sky. I put my hand on his cheek, feeling his smooth, cold skin underneath my palm. He touched it and pressed it harder to his face.

I felt a thrill in my heart that made it thump slightly fast. I watched him closely, as he continued to gaze at the stars.

I didn't know how long we stood there. But I was just about to turn his face to mine, when I saw something like guilt flash across his face. "Angel?" I asked, suddenly worried.

He turned his head to mine, catching my concerned tone. He didn't need to say anything to know I had caught his emotion. I saw the slight embarrassment in his eyes. "Angel, what's wrong?" I asked—my voice more level.

"It's nothing," he replied. He began to walk away and I grabbed his arm roughly.

"Tell me what's wrong," I demanded. My voice was intentionally harsh and I could feel the instinctive defensive coil of his muscles.

Angel looked to me shamefully and walked back to me like a wounded animal. He stood in front of me, but didn't look straight at me.

I put my hands on his cheek. "Tell me."


	13. Rose and thorn

Buffy POV

"I can't stay here."

I knew this. It hurt, but I did. "Okay..."

He looks at me, "I can't stay here... so why do I feel like I did five years ago?"

I cup his head in my hands. "What are you talking about?"

He rips away from my grasp and stares out into the distance. What could be so interesting in the dessert? "I... I don't need this."

"Need what?"

He continues to stare, "I don't need another reason to feel like I'm burning."

For some reason, I felt like he was giving me a belated guilt trip for sending him to hell. "What do you mean?"

"I have lost too much this year, Buffy. Too much," he says, "Conner, Cordy..."

You can't blame me for feeling a little rebuff when he mentioned _her_ name. "Who's Conner?" I ask, confused.

He looks back at, "No one." There is silence.

"What happened to Cordy?"

"She's... she's..." he sighs, "she's dead."

That's a bit of a shocker. I can tell from his face... he's hurting badly.

"My best friend," he sets his jaw, "gone."

I walk up to him and guide his face back to facing me. "So why are you guilty?"

He doesn't want to tell me. But his eyes are screaming. It's tearing him apart.

"Please. Tell me."

"Why am I feeling like I did five years ago?"  
I whisper, "What does that mean?"

He leans into my shoulder. He groans to himself. My knees weaken a little from his breath unintentionally seeping down my shirt. It's shaky from him.

I take his hand. "What does it mean?"

Willow POV

"Ten bucks says Angel will start quoting Romeo's lament."

"As if. I'd say they're has to be at least an hour of sexual tension beforehand," Xander disagrees.

"That wouldn't be too much of a good idea," I point out, "he might end up losing his soul without getting an orgasm."

"Try to be sensitive, Wil," Dawnie says, "She has to sob first. And then after."

"Good point."

"And you might want to remember that she's going to have to change her mind a thousand times over before she figures out that she actually wants to _listen_ to him," Faith walks up, "Or have I missed out on a couple of things?"

"She listens now. But she throws it out the window," Dawn explains.

"Hey. It's a step up," I explain, "and besides... at least their aren't tears."

"Yet," they all say at the same time.

"Yet," I nod.


	14. Darkness

Angel POV

As I lean into her shoulder, I remember that day. I remember feeling like something had just burst in my stomach and filled my entire body with something incredibly pure. Everything that I had been before that moment vanished instantly in the pure energy that filled my body.

The tears that spilled were because I was overwhelmed, afraid, and amazed. In mere second, everything that I had been was gone and when I opened my eyes again, the energy was still reverberating in my mind, keeping me from thinking about anything else except the present. And when I looked up, the only thing that could dull the energy in my head was standing right above with a sword in her hand and a look of somebody on quest for vengeance.

"If I stay with you," I whisper. "I could lose my soul."

"That's not going to happen," Buffy replies in a resolute tone.

"And when I get it back," I continue. "I'll remember every awful thing that I had done. And there won't be just guilt." I lift my head from her shoulder and stare at her, "I'll remember every awful thing I did to _you_."

She takes her hand from my face and grabs my hand. "What do you mean?"

"Everything I felt that day I got my soul back was because of not _every_ awful thing I did," I explain. "It was because of the things I did to _you_."

She stays silent, her green eyes willing me to continue.

"That was because I loved you," I mutter quietly. "And because… I still do."

The flash of hope in her eyes just adds to my dread.

"I'm getting so happy, even after everything that has happened over the past year," I explain. "And I can't risk it again. My best friend, my… my…" I want to tell her so badly. "And now you. If I lose you…"

"You won't," she replies. "Ever since I died, I haven't seen the world in the same way. And I managed to figure out something."

"What?" I ask her, hoping she can convince me that all my worry is for not.

"That angelus tortured me emotionally, but he never killed me," she replies. "That was because I made him feel human. I made him feel love."

"Are you saying," I can't believe how right this question sounds, "Are you saying that… he loved you?"

She nods and the solid look in her eyes scares and sooths me at the same time.

Logan POV

_They are still there… I still have a chance… nightfall will vanish… the sun… summer solstice... tomorrow…_

_ THEY ARE MINE!_

I wake up with a start. Dawn had let me sleep in place because she was going to stay up with the others for a little bit. I sit up and look around the camp. They are all gathered by the school bus, staring at something.

I can feel my power under my skin, trying to break free. I take a deep breath… _Summer solstice…_ tomorrow is the summer solstice.

The power is so strong. I need Dawn to calm me. I do.

But the thing that I can now feel crawling into my brain is not mine. It's not bright enough. _My _mind is battling with this new feeling. I can feel it in every fiber of my being. The only thing now that I have left is my soul and my mind. All of my five senses can detect it.

And _it_ tastes kind of chalky.


End file.
